My Lliclla Bag

In Peru, Lliclla is a Quechua word for a colorful square woven cloth that covers the back and shoulders. It is secured at the front, tied or using a safety pin. As I walked in the streets of Lima, I couldn't keep myself from being fascinated by the colors of those llicllas. The women could use it to carry cargo, to keep them warm and, the most beautiful thing, to carry their children. As a tourist trying to blend in, I wanted one.

I went to the closest shop I could see that had llicllas for sale. It was a tourist shop. I asked the vendor for a lliclla and she showed me, one by one, all the different colors she had. I tried one out, soon to figure how complicated it would be to carry my cargo in it. Imagine having to unfold and fold all that cloth every time I needed my wallet, or my mobile, while it's ringing! It just wouldn't do. She gave me an alternative, a lliclla made into a bag, with a zipper... much more practical. I bought two. Transferred all my stuff from the purse I was using to my new red lliclla bag and left the shop smiling.

Happy I walked down the streets of Lima with my new lliclla bag, still fascinated by the women with their original llicllas. One of them caught my attention. She had a baby on her back and she was laughing at me. I was intrigued by how a person, that I've never seen before, could be so amused by the sight of me. And then I realized she was laughing at me foolishness. Silly girl trying to blend in by spending 20 soles on a lliclla bag. But it wasn't her laugh what was disturbing me the most. It was the preciousness of her cargo, in an original lliclla, and the meaningless of mine, in a fake one. And I could just watch as she walked away.

The Dream When The King Came To Visit

It was long past midnight. I was at a train station with a friend waiting for no train, for no one. We were just walking along the platform, having a nice conversation. Although it was not an abandoned train station, there was no one around and no train scheduled to arrive or depart. There was only me and my friend telling me a very interesting story about her life, one of the many. The night was cold and dry and apart from her story all I could here was silence.

Listening to her was such a joy. She could make any kind of drama into a comedy. Laughing at one of her many jokes, I bounced my head back. That's when I noticed, from the corner of left eye, a dark figure. I turned slowly and there he was. With his dark clothes, his dark hair and his dark eyes, looking to the ground, immersed in his own thoughts, he was there in my dream, sitting on a bench at that train station. I could see his calm and pale face that showed no expression or feeling. I could feel the presence of an old distant land, a land that I wanted to be my home.

He didn't look at me. He didn't move. I didn't go to him. I turned back to my friend. I walked away. I knew I couldn't live in his land. He gave me a small place to visit every once in a while and that was enough. He was there just to make sure everything was going all right in my dreams.

Backtracking

There was a paper. In it, a grid was printed, a calendar. There was no reference to a month, or days in the week, or even a date, a number, only a grid. At the end of everyday, I put an X on one of the squares. Left to right, top to bottom. A feeling of happiness and accomplishment took over me as I marked that X. As if making through every single day was the hardest test life has ever put upon me. I regained energy while, armed with my red pen, I drew the X. This simple and insignificant action was the fuel that kept me going through the next day.

Until one day, I woke up to find out the X I had drawn the day before was gone. Thinking it was just my imagination, I let it go. By the end of the day, I wrote an X where in the morning I felt one was missing. It was not my imagination. On the next day, I realized two X's were missing. In a desperate attempt take back what I had lost, I wrote down both X's. I watched as they faded right in front of my eyes...

Time was walking backwards as I realized the long waited day at the end of the calendar would never come.

Empty Nights.

Now I find myself surprised with how long it's been since my last post. Yesterday, talking to a friend, he asked me if I had a blog. And in fact I did, or I do. So here I am. After my last post, I entered a new era in my life. Confusing one. Lots of things to decide and nights with no sleep. If I remember correctly, I spent over six months without remembering my dreams. As a result, I completely forgot about my own dream country. I can't say that I'm back. I do have a few interesting dreams to talk about. Let's see what happens...